The Epic of Comrade Monke

A mysterious man came through the gate. His name was Ajax. He saw some people approaching so he hid behind a crate until they went away. Before anybody had noticed he had managed to get inside the mansion. It was a weird building, built with gold and decorated with silver.


Ajax reached the basement, where he saw the prisoners: A bunch of men who had the faces of octopuses. He freed them. They killed the guards together and in a few minutes had taken over the whole building.


-”Why did you free us?” one of them asked.


-”So we can take care of him…”


-”Him?”


-”Aye. Him. The monkey. Comrade Monke…”


Comrade Monke was sleeping when he was woken up by a phone call. It was the “Chief.” Probably another mission. He got up, cleaned his male domestic canary’s cage, changed the water, and then got dressed.


He picked up his Makarov pistol, entered his car and drove all the way to the office.


He arrived, exited the car and walked up the stairs to enter the Kremlin, where the office was located. He told Miss Anastasia, the secretary of the “Chief,” to prepare him some vodka, which she did. He sat down and awaited the “Chief.”


He eventually arrived. He sat down and told Monke the situation:


-”Listen Comrade Monke. Things are serious. Two nuclear warheads were stolen from us last night. We need you to track them down and find a way to bring them back to us…”


-”Say no more chief! I’m on it!”


Monke immediately left the office and arrived back home. He said goodbye to his canary and then packed some stuff in a suitcase. He arrived at the airport where he flew to the United States. He had a lead there, and he knew she would probably know something.


He asked her. She said that all she knew was that someone who had helped in the robbery of the warheads was an American and that his name was “George Strongman.” Monke thanked her and he began searching for him.


He eventually discovered his apartment and paid him a visit.


After he opened the door, Monke kicked him and tied him to the couch. He took out his Makarov pistol and aimed it at him.


-”Now listen. I’ll ask, you answer. Or we’re gonna have a very big problem. Do you understand?”


-”Ye- yes”


-”Who arranged the robbery of the warheads?”


-”It was a man named Ajax! That’s all I know, now please, don’t hurt me…”


-”I am not gonna hurt you…”


-”Now please. Untie me!”


-”Alright.”


Monke untied him and then left through a window.


While he was walking down the street, Monke was thinking who this “Ajax” could be. Very rare name. Then he remembered: There was a former American secret agent from Florida, who’s name was Ajax. He could be behind this!


So he traveled to Florida where he found out from a lead of his that Ajax had been recently spotted in the mansion close to the bar “Tree.” Monke took a cab and was dropped off there. He tipped off the taxi driver and he left. Monke went through the gate, only to find dead bodies. When he went inside, he found them standing there: The men who had the faces of octopuses.


The door closed behind him, and Monke was terrified. Then, he saw Ajax walking towards him:


-”Comrade Monke! Long time no see!”


-”What the hell do you want Ajax?”


-”I see you didn’t understand a thing…”


-”I didn’t understand what?”


-”That the warheads were stolen just to lure you in here…”


-”So everything was according to plan?”


-”Aye!”


-”What do you want?”


-”Come with me…”


-”That doesn’t answer my question…”


-”Just come with me, ok?”


Monke followed him down a dark basement.


It was a weird and unusual room. There were screens all around, showing different parts of the world, including Monke’s house.


-”As you can see, this is where I pull off all of my operations… It’s only a matter of hours before the octopuses you saw up there have overrun the earth!”


-”That’s your plan? World domination? I expected something a little more… innovating from you, Ajax…”


-”But wait! There's more!”


-”What is it?”


-”After I have conquered the world, I shall use all of earth’s space programs to build space warships. Then, we shall inflict terror upon the entire galaxy and establish an intergalactic empire! Hope I didn't disappoint you, Comrade Monke.”


-”And what do you want from me?”


-”Your assistance!”


-”You must be joking…”


-”With my genius and your powers… we can conquer the galaxy! Imagine what we can create!”


-”Tempting… But no!”


Monke said this and pulled out his Makarov pistol. He tried to shoot at Ajax but he jumped and hid behind a crate.


Comrade Monke run upstairs and shot and killed a couple of octopus men, but there were too many of them! He then saw a window and jumped right through it, landing on the garden. He saw a car.


He hijacked it and drove all the way to the airport.


He jumped over the security machines and burst inside a plane. He hijacked the plane and ordered the pilots to take off, which they did. As the plane was moving, Monke saw the octopus men trying to chase it, but they were slow.


Monke arrived back to the USSR. He went to the Kremlin where the office of the Soviet secret service headed by the “Chief” was. He entered inside and informed the “Chief.”


-”Look Monke, if it was anybody else, you’d be a gulag for the crazy stuff you are saying. But because it’s you, because we got history, I’m gonna believe you and help you handle this.”


-”What kind of help will you give me?”


-”A portion of the Soviet Army will travel with you to the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea. Your old friend Sun Wukong lives there, he’s gonna help you.”


-”Thank you.”


Monke and a small portion of the soviet army traveled to the DPRK, or, as it was known in the west, “north Korea.” There Monke and Sun Wukong reunited after a long time.


Monke entered Sun Wukong’s house. It was beautiful! It was decorated with Asian Christian art, which Monke appreciated as he was a devout Christian. He sat down and so did Sun Wukong. They started discussing about how to counter the incoming threat of Ajax and his octopus minions.


While they were discussing however, the door and windows broke and octopus men invaded the house. Monke and the soviet army started gunning them down and Sun Wukong picked up his staff to fight them.


At one point Monke turned his face elsewhere, only to see that Sun Wukong had been gunned down and bitten by the octopus men! Suddenly, his body started moving and transforming from a primate to a human. When the walking body turned around, it had been transformed into an octopus man!


-”So that’s how they spread and increase!” Monke said.


He saw that the men of the soviet army were also being bitten and transformed. He had to think fast! Monke shot a window and jumped out of it.


When he landed on the ground, he passed out.


When he woke up, he was in a strange place.

He looked outside, only to see the entire earth! He was in space!


The earth was being destroyed, looted by those monsters led by Ajax. Monke was shocked. He tried to exit the room but the door was locked. Then, he heard a voice:


-”Soldier 1800. Immediately present yourself for duty.”


Monke exited through the door, which was now unlocked.


He made his way through the complex and arrived in front of a mysterious figure dressed in black. His face was white his teeth were black and disgusting. He started talking in this high-pitched, scary voice:


-”What are you doing here, soldier? Immediately go to the armory where your fellow soldiers are expecting you!”


-”Aye sir!”


Monke had no idea what was going on, but he went to the armory anyway. The soldiers were getting some weapons to prepare for battle. Monke went and grabbed a plasma rifle. He held it in his hands and was amazed. He had never seen anything like that before!


Then the commander showed up, ordering his soldier to assume offensive positions. Monke did too.


-”NOW” the commander shouted!


The door opened and the soldiers ran towards the front lines. A battle had just begun.


Monke didn’t know whom they were fighting, so he quickly went close to one of the other soldiers and he asked him who the enemy was.


-”Are you serious? We’re fighting the trojans.”


-“The trojans?” Monke wondered.


-”Yes. Now get to battle, comrade!”


Monke was really confused now.


When he peaked over, he saw the octopus men defending a city with huge walls around.


“That must be Troy, or whatever the space version of Troy is…”


Monke used his plasma rifle to gun down a bunch of the octopus men. Then he quickly ran forward along with his fellow soldiers. He tried to shoot more, but he had run out of ammo! He searched himself for a secondary weapon. He still had his Makarov pistol, thank God.


He pulled it out and shot some of the octopus men before he and his fellow soldiers advanced forward. However, they saw a huge, red vehicle coming out of the walls. It fired and killed all of them, except Monke, who’s super strength and advanced powers kept him alive. Monke was instead captured and put in a cell.


While he was being held, another prisoner who was in there for stealing a loaf of bread, asked Monke who he was.


-”Me? I’m a soldier of socialism. I was created by Ilya Ivanov as part of his ‘Monkey superwarrior’ program. When I was created, I was also given a time travel alien device the soviets had discovered. It is worn around my wrist like a watch, as you can see. From that point on, I was unstoppable…”


-”If you can time travel, and you have the ability to go back in time, you can prevent all of this from happening!”


-”It doesn’t work like that buddy. I can’t just go back in time to prevent something. If I try to do that, it will disturb the peace of the universe. What I can do is go back to explore and prevent others from preventing stuff, but I can’t prevent something myself…”


-”I admire your honesty, mister…?”


-”Monke. Comrade Monke.”


Monke introduced himself and lit a cigar. He spent the entire night as a prisoner of war.


The door eventually opened. It was a guard who escorted Monke to the office of the other emperor, who as it turns out, was Ajax!


-”Comrade Monke. We meet again at last!”


-”Why are you doing this?” Monke asked


-”The world needs a judge. Who else is better than me?”


-”How about Christ?” Monke responded


-”Oh right. I forgot about that little flaw of yours… You’re a devout Christian.”


Monke kicked the guard behind him and grabbed his rifle. He shot at Ajax but Ajax disappeared and reappeared behind Monke!


-”You see, Comrade, I have developed my own little teleportation technology…”


Monke was then knocked out by Ajax.


When Monke woke up, he felt a little dizzy.


-”Again. Knocked out again!”


Monke was inside a dark room this time. Suddenly the walls began closing!


-”Oh shit!”


Monke used his super strength to try and push a wall. He managed it to some extent. And eventually help arrived in the form of one of his fellow soldiers who had infiltrated the place and had managed to reach Monke through a large vent.


-”Soldier 1800, grab my hand!”


-”Ok!”


Monke jumped and grabbed the soldier's arm. The soldier lifted Monke inside the vent, gave him his Makarov pistol, and together they escaped and retreated back to the headquarters where they met with their Emperor.


-”Emperor, we must raid Troy!”


And the Emperor came up with an idea: To fake their surrender, and, give, as a fake gift, a large vehicle, a plasma tank. Inside it, the soldiers would hide along with Monke. And once it was inside, they would come out and destroy the city!


And so they built it, in the course of five days, while defending their headquarters from the octopus men.


Once it arrived, the octopus trojans welcomed it and started putting it inside. After an hour, it was inside. Monke and the soldiers came out and raided Troy, wreaking havoc on the entire city and the octopus men.


Monke and the soldier that had saved him went to the throne room where Ajax was.


-”Comrade Monke… How many times do I have to teach you the same lesson…?”


Monke pulled out his Makarov pistol and tried to fire at Ajax, but he had run out of bullets, and they didn’t have ammo for it on the planet they were in. So he hid it.


Ajax pulled out two laser swords and threw one at the hands of Monke.


-”We’re just gonna do it the old fashioned way then?”


-”It seems so,” Monke responded.


Monke and Ajax attacked each other and began fighting.


Meanwhile the soldier that had saved Monke tried to reach the terminal to see if his could somehow cause the octopus men to cease their activities. But Ajax pulled out his gun and shot him, killing him.


Monke was shocked but had to keep going.


Eventually, Ajax disarmed Monke and knocked him out.


But just as Ajax was about to stab Monke, Monke woke up and jumped behind him, stabbing him!


-”From the motherland, with love!” Monke said.


Monke quickly ran to the terminal and he started destroying it.


Suddenly, everything calmed down.


Monke watched the screens and saw the octopus men suddenly fall down and die.


Monke had done it! This terrible war was over!


As he exited the room, he saw that everything was beginning to catch on fire. He ran out of the city along with the surviving soldiers and the city exploded as Monke was running. He turned around and it was in flames.


Due to him managing to stop the war, he was awarded by the Emperor a medal and a free ride back to earth.


Monke returned to the USSR, where he was awarded another medal.


Then, he returned to his Dacha and found it half-destroyed. But his domestic Canary had survived.


-”Thank you God!” Monke said.


Monke cleaned his dacha and his domestic canary, put some water and some food for it, kissed it goodnight, and then went to bed, and he fell asleep.


And so Monke awaited his next mission, his next adventure.


The end of Ajax, but Comrade Monke will return!