The mole

It was a dark, snowy night in the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics. In the dacha, Comrade Monke was praying the rosary. After he finished his prayer to the Blessed Virgin Mary, he kissed his domestic canary, whose name was Lelos, goodnight and went to sleep.


He was woken up by a phone call the next morning. It was the “chief:”


-”Comrade Monke, get your ass off your bed and come here immediately!”


-”Ok ok!”


Monke cleaned his domestic canary’s cage, changed its water and put some food for it, and left. He walked all the way to his car and drove to the Kremlin, where the office of the “chief” was located.


He entered the building and greeted Miss Anastasia. He entered the office and the “chief” greeted him.


-”Welcome, Comrade!”


-”What’s the emergency?”


-”Listen Monke. Yesterday, we located and caught a traitor, a mole, who was trying to escape.”


-”And? Just follow the standard procedure to get him to confess. What do you need me for?”


-”He asked to be interrogated specifically by you.”


-”How can he possibly know me?”


-”How many monkeys with guns have you seen walking around the globe?”


-”More than you think actually, but you’ve… got a point. Ok I’ll interrogate him!”


Monke was taken far away from Moscow, in a bunker in Siberia, where he met the man who wanted to be interrogated by him.


-”Ok, what do you want from me?”


-”First, tell the guards to leave.”


-”There’s no way that’s happening, my former comrade!”


-”TELL THEM TO LEAVE, NOW!”


Monke signaled them to leave.


-”Ok now they've left. What do you want?”


-”I am here to deliver a message… If you don’t surrender yourself to the United States of America and allow yourself to be imprisoned by them, horrible things will happen…”


-”Yeah right! And who told you to deliver this message?”


-”Your former partner during the Great Patriotic War… Vladimir Ilyanovic…”


Monke stood there, shocked. He hadn’t heard that name for a long time.


Ilyanovic was Monke’s partner during the Great Patriotic War, but he betrayed the soviets and joined the Nazis. After the Nazis were defeated by the Soviet Union, Vladimir travelled to America where he became an important figure in the formation of NATO.


Monke pulled out a gun and aimed it at the mole.


-”Tell me, where can I find him?”


-”He is hiding in Greece. Please, let me live!”


Monke showed mercy to the mole, even advising against executing him, instead managing to secure him a 25+ year sentence in a gulag instead. A week after, he traveled to Greece, where he found Vladimir hiding in a hotel.


As Vladimir was asleep, Monke pulled a gun at him and shot at him.


However, the lights then turned on, revealing that Vladimir was sitting at a chair next to a window instead!


-”Good try, Monke, unfortunately, you’re gonna have to try harder next time!”


Vladimir shot at Monke but Monke dodged and shot him in the head with his Makarov pistol, killing him.


-”From the motherland, with love!”


Monke returned to the USSR shortly after, and was awarded a medal.


The end for now, but Comrade Monke will return!