The Red File

It was a dark, rainy night. With his intimidating dark costume, black tie and black fedora, he put the silencer onto the pistol while hiding behind a very large crate. He peeked and saw that the guards were still there. He had no choice but to neutralize them. He got up, aimed his gun and he didn’t miss, both had fallen dead with only a difference of 1 second between their deaths.


He moved to the second floor and saw two more guards. He distracted them by throwing a coin and moved past them. He moved on to the third floor. Floor after floor, step after step, he eventually made it to the control room. He wasted no time, he placed the explosives and set the timer to 5 minutes.


He ran out of there as fast as he could while avoiding the guards. However, he saw something on a desk: A weird, red file. He took it. Once he got out and far enough, he looked at the building, which exploded and caught on fire.


After the mission had been accomplished. He flew by plane back to London. The next day, he drove with his car to the office of the MI6.


He was greeted by the Head of the Secret Service, a mysterious woman.


-”Well done, Agent Croco. This is sure to keep that damn organization off our asses for some time!”


-”Thank you. But there’s something else, too…”


-”What is it?”


-”See… I found this…”


Croco showed the red file to the Head.


-”No… way…”


-”It’s written in Russian and I don’t know what it says.”


-”Croco… What you found there is far more valuable than you blowing up that building…”


-Tell me, what is it?”


-”It reveals the location of him…”


-”Him?”


-”The leader of CAMP.”


-”No way… Where does it say he is located?”


-”He’s in… Colombia, in Bogota.”


Croco wasted no time, he packed his bags and left for Bogota.


While on the plane, Croco was greeted by the pilots and almost everyone was happy to see him… almost.


When it was time for sleep, a gunshot was heard and everyone was woken up. The pilots enabled the auto-pilot and went to see what was happening. When they were noticed, they were shot dead and one of the pirates went and disabled the auto-pilot so they could take full control of the plane.


They gave everyone parachutes. All except Croco, who they captured and knocked out.


When Croco woke up, he was in a strange place and he couldn’t see anything. Everything was… dark and silent. Suddenly, he saw light and ran towards it.


He got out of what was apparently a weird cell. Just as he thought he could escape, he suddenly turned around and saw a man, smoking a cigarette and aiming a gun at him, as well as a mysterious woman.


-”Come with me - or die!” said the man.


-”Ok…”


So Croco was taken to a small boat and was forced to row until they found a small sloop in the middle of the ocean. Croco was taken aboard and taken inside. Inside, there was a full office! Icons of Jesus Christ and the Virgin Mary, seemingly western Christian-Catholic, accompanied by flags of the former Soviet Union. Behind the desk, a chair turned around. On the desk, a perch with a budgie parrot on it and on another part of the desk a cage with a small canary in it.


-”Agent Croco…” He said, in his signature heavy Russian accent, “allow me to introduce myself… I am Comrade Monke. And those people that brought you here are Dedushka and Pech, my loyal companions in my struggle…”


He then turned around, revealing an anthropomorphic primate.


-”It can’t be… THE Comrade Monke?”


-”Aye!”


-”But… we were told you had committed suicide, it was all over the news!”


Croco then pulled out a newspaper, the headline of which read:

“COMRADE MONKE, FORMER SOVIET AGENT, COMMITS SUICIDE IN HIS APARTMENT, 2 YEARS AFTER THE FALL OF THE SOVIET UNION”


-”Aye! This is my second life… You only live twice, after all…”


-”How, and, most important of all, why did you set up CAMP?”


-”After the USSR fell, my life was meaningless. The great homeland which I was created to serve, was gone. For 2 years, I wandered around aimlessly, living with the retirement pension I had earned for my service. I no longer… had any purpose. I took my old Makarov pistol, loaded it, and aimed it at myself. But then… I noticed something outside: An old woman, a neighbour of mine, hung up a poster of the great Lenin, as well as a Soviet flag. Then, something changed inside of me… ‘Maybe, just maybe’ I told myself, not all hope was lost. I am also a Catholic and a Liberation Theologian. An admirer of Camilo Torres Restrepo. And so, I prayed for strength and I found it. I decided that no longer will the capitalist system oppress us.”


-”And so, you founded CAMP, which stands for…?”


-”Communist Army of Mayhem and Piracy.”


-”So what’s your goal?”


-”The restoration of the Soviet Union.”


-”Under your leadership, I suppose?”


-”Perhaps, perhaps not. I don’t care about power, mister Croco, all I care about is that the Soviet people have a homeland again.”


-”How did you end up here anyway? The red file said you are in Bogota.”


-”Diversion… Mister Croco.”


Croco then opened his mouth, and pulled a small knife out of it. He had used a gum to make it get stuck under his tongue. Dedushka and Pech tried to stop him but he knocked them unconscious.


-”Now, time to take care of you…”


-”You won’t kill me, mister Croco…”


-”Haha… why?”


-”Because you will join me. Do you never have any doubts? You can cease being a slave to the capitalist system, and join me… Imagine what we can accomplish together… What we can create…”


Something then changed inside Croco, as if he was agreeing with Monke…


Croco put down the knife.


-”If I join you, what will I win?”


-”A place in the new USSR, as head of our espionage services.”


-”What… Do you want me to do…?”


-Kill the Head of the MI6!”


Croco, for a reason he couldn’t explain, was agreeing with all of this. Maybe, after all, he hated the capitalist system just as Monke did, or maybe he was just out to win himself a better position in the future.


Whatever the case, he did as Monke Ordered him, and was successful.


And so, every day, slowly but surely, Monke and CAMP march to victory…

Dedushka and Pech characters by Mebreb. Agent Croco character by Saintrider.