Posts

Comrade Monke Returns

Agent Croco took his gun and broke down the door. He started shooting and killed almost everyone in the room. Almost… He left one soldier alive. Croco approached him. The soldier was hit in the leg twice by Croco’s bullets. The anthropomorphic crocodile aimed his gun at his head. -Talk, or your brains will be spilled all over the room floor! -Please… I have a wife and three kids! -TALK! The soldier raised his eyesight towards Croco. -He’s… I can’t say it. Croco then fired and blew the soldier’s brains out. -One less Soviet scumbag! He hid the gun in his coat, and went upstairs where the lab with the Soviet scientists was in. He killed the scientists and lab workers mercilessly. He then made his way to a desk and started searching it. On it, he had finally found what he was looking for: The red file. He returned to England and to the MI6 headquarters. When the chief saw him, he was happy. -So, you made it out alive huh? -YES! -Do you have the recorded testimony of Monke’s whereabouts? ...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Nuclear Ipod

He entered through the roof, trying to be as stealthy as possible. He knocked out a few guards, while killing some others. He had to find it. He knew it was there, he knew it was gonna be difficult finding it, but he had to at least try. After killing a few more guards, he saw a room with a large door. He tried to open it but it was locked. He then felt a presence behind him. He turned around and saw him: A short, but fat primate. He just couldn't believe what he was seeing. The shock was so strong he passed out. When he woke up, his legs and arms were tied up and he was all alone in a dark room. That is, until a large gate opened, and he saw the same primate enter. This time, while still shocked, he did not pass out. The primate approached him. The primate wore a Mao tunic, a soviet Ushanka hat, as well as a golden Constantinato coin, as a necklace. He walked right up to him. -Hello, friend! He was speechless, for the primate could also talk! This must have been a joke right? Sur...
Post a Comment
Read more

Perseus Sterling

25 August 1758 I have been pressured by my wife and children to write a memoir of my adventure from years ago. I must now therefore travel to a simpler time, when I was a captain of a small transport ship. I remember us sailing through a terrible storm. We must have lost about 3 men while going through that disaster! We were trying to escape, and there was no escape: Our ship was launched towards an island, and was crushed into a rock. Nobody except me survived. I passed out. When I woke up, I was tied to a tree. I was sure I would die of starvation, but then I saw them appearing one by one behind a large rock: Four men, all dressed with terrible, ripped clothes. Could they be…? But no. I thought there was no way they were… I can’t even say the word. However when they approached me and started talking, I was certain: These men… they were… PIRATES! They approached me and untied me. They then escorted me, at the point of the sword, to their leader. I shall never call him captain, for t...
Post a Comment
Read more

From the Files of the American Government: Comrade Monke

Image
NAME: Comrade Monke EYE COLOR: Orange SPECIES: Primate TYPE: Unknown (possibly black crested macaque) WANTED FOR: Armed robbery, protection racketeering, espionage, terrorism, murder, weapon smuggling, gold smuggling, leading a criminal organization, identity fraud, impersonation DESCRIPTION: Not much is known about the very early life of the mysterious yet prominent Rasputin-like Christian mystic figure and Marxist-Leninist archterrorist Comrade Monke. He was probably born during the Russian revolution, making him about 108 or 109 years old. According to various witnesses and testimonies, he committed his first crime at about 16 years old. It was espionage. He had apparently given Western military secrets to the Soviet Union, after buying them from the Mafia. He also worked for the Mafia, did jail time and possibly even became a Made Man. After that, he travelled around the world. However, it was during his time in the Vatican that he converted to Catholicism. After traveling to Lati...
Post a Comment
Read more

Scarmonkey

Writer's note: Originally, while writing this, there was no intent to frame the short story as a fictional historian's essay. But as I kept writing, I increasingly realized this wouldn't work otherwise. Then the idea of making it a fictional essay from a fictional historian came up in my mind, and I just had to do it. So anyways, enjoy! This is the short essay of a historian who wishes to remain anonymous, regarding Comrade Monke’s rise to power: In about 1946, lived the Russian Comrade Monke, destined to become the world’s most powerful and most intelligent primate. He was always dressed in a red coat with white pants. He also wore an Ushanka with the Soviet hammer and sickle on it. He had a large scar on his face, which resulted in the nickname "SCARMONKEY." Also, he owned a pet budgerigar, named Pepi or Pepita. Born on September 19 of an unknown year, and after fighting for the bolsheviks during the Russian Civil War and for the Soviets during World War 2, or t...
Post a Comment
Read more

Comrade Monke and the Golden Canary

Once upon a time, there was a country which spanned Europe and Asia. Its name was the Soviet Union. And in it lived a great protector of it, someone who instilled happiness and a sense of safety in the hearts of its citizens and fear and dread in the enemies of it. A primate. His name was Comrade Monke. Now, the Soviet Union had a leader, the general secretary. He owned an aviary inside his residence, the Kremlin, and he took great care of it. It was full of many different birds, but one stood out: The golden canary. It was the most fascinating bird anyone could see in their lifetimes. No one knew its origin exactly, but many legends had been told about it, including a popular one that it had sailed with pirates and was over 1800 years old, that it was once a human cursed by a witch, and many more. One night, unknown to the general secretary, the canary was stolen. When the leader found out about it, he became depressed, and sadness filled his heart. So he wasted no time, and quickly s...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Patriarch

She walked inside the restaurant and made her way over to the kitchen. She placed her hand on the white wall, pushed against it, and a piece was pushed inside like a button. The wall split in half and opened, revealing a large staircase downwards. She entered and the wall behind her closed. She walked downstairs and made a turn left. She moved in a straight line and then turned right until she reached a large dark room. She saw a mysterious figure sitting there. She sat down. -What may I do for you, lady? Said the figure. -Patriarch, I need your help. The “patriarch” turned on the light on his desk. What this light revealed shocked her and made her feel disturbed and scared: A primate sitting there. He was dressed in a red suit and was smoking. On his desk, a stand for parrots with a budgie parrot on it. A beautiful white-and-blue female named Pepi or Pepita. The desk also had other things on it: A Bible, a crucifix, statues of the Virgin Mary and Jesus, as well as a picture of Camilo ...
Post a Comment
Read more