Scarmonkey
Writer's note: Originally, while writing this, there was no intent to frame the short story as a fictional historian's essay. But as I kept writing, I increasingly realized this wouldn't work otherwise. Then the idea of making it a fictional essay from a fictional historian came up in my mind, and I just had to do it. So anyways, enjoy!
This is the short essay of a historian who wishes to remain anonymous, regarding Comrade Monke’s rise to power:
In about 1946, lived the Russian Comrade Monke, destined to become the world’s most powerful and most intelligent primate. He was always dressed in a red coat with white pants. He also wore an Ushanka with the Soviet hammer and sickle on it. He had a large scar on his face, which resulted in the nickname "SCARMONKEY." Also, he owned a pet budgerigar, named Pepi or Pepita. Born on September 19 of an unknown year, and after fighting for the bolsheviks during the Russian Civil War and for the Soviets during World War 2, or the Great Patriotic War as he called it, he arrived in America.
He committed his first crime there, and for a valuable object.
But what an object!
Standing there in the valuable case surrounded by bulletproof glass, Monke was eyeing it for a long time now. It was a rare, beautiful golden medallion, with a skull that resembled the jolly roger pirate flag on it. It was always surrounded by guards, and not even someone who worked there, such as Monke who worked there as a bouncer, could get close to it.
Comrade Monke would not be stopped however, for when he had set something as his goal, he would stop at nothing to get it.
So he planned on how to steal it. He bribed one of the guards to get a copy of the club’s plans, gathered a few friends in a room, and according to the account of one of them, started talking to them about his plan:
-First, we’re gonna disable the alarm. Afterwards we’re gonna cut off the power…
Then one of his friends responded, before Monke could even finish his sentence:
-And why disable the alarm if we’re gonna cut off the power anyway.
-The club has a specially-built system. The moment you mess with the power source, the alarm goes off.
Monke continued explaining:
-So we disable the alarm, then the power source. Then, when the guards can’t see anything, we quickly knock them out and then carefully remove the glass. Then we take the object, and walk away very rich men and well, monkeys!
And so they gathered in an alley outside the club, and prepared to steal the item.
-Did you get everything? All the equipment? Asked Monke
-Yes.
-Great, now let’s move!
Comrade Monke and the crew quickly entered the club through a back door. They moved towards the room with the cameras, where the alarm’s settings were. Monke saw a guard sitting in a chair: He grabbed a bat he had with him and knocked the guard out.
After they had disabled the alarm and the cameras, they moved to the room with the power source, and turned it off, causing the few lights in the closed club to turn off as well. Comrade Monke and his crew then moved to the room where the object was. The guards had dispersed and were looking for the intruders.
Monke and his crew knocked them out one by one. They then removed the bulletproof glass and Monke finally got his hands on what he had desired for so long!
However, it was then that all the lights turned on. Monke saw armed men entering through all the doors, and gunning down his crew. Monke was shot in the shoulder and passed out.
When he woke up, he saw him walk up to him: The gangster Tony Camonte. At some point he stopped walking, and Monke feared for his life. He feared that Camonte would pull out a gun and shoot him in cold blood. That’s the reputation Camonte had.
But instead, Camonte started talking to him:
-Comrade Monke, you monkey bastard! You almost succeeded, but I am smarter than you. I could squash you right now, but it seems like you’ll prove useful to me! If you love your life, you’ll obey me and do what I say. Deal?
He said this and reached out for a handshake.
Comrade Monke got up and shook Camonte’s hand reluctantly.
-Deal!
Comrade Monke knew Camonte was not a good guy to make a deal with. He knew that at any point, he could just burst out and kill him. So he had to take him out.
But in the meantime, he had to do what Camonte ordered him to do, which included: assassinations, robbing banks, and stealing cars.
One night, while Camonte was sleeping in his large apartment, he heard a noise, specifically the noise of a window opening. He got up, put on his clothes, and grabbed the gun from his drawer. He went to the kitchen, where the sound was coming from, and saw the window open but he looked around and saw no one.
-Maybe it was just me and I had left it open.
He closed it and started heading back to his room, when he felt something hit him in the leg. He fell down and screamed in pain.
He then saw him approach:
Comrade Monke!
Monke walked up to him and aimed his gun at Camonte’s head.
-Say goodnight, mr. Camonte!
He said this and shot him, blowing his brains out.
Monke then cut off Camonte’s head, and put it in a package. He emailed it to Camonte’s main associate Johnny Lovo. Lovo was sleeping in his home, when he heard the bell ring. He got up, opened the door and saw the package. After he took it inside and opened it, he shouted in fear.
The head also had a piece of paper on it: “THIS TOWN BELONGS TO ME NOW!” read the note.
From that point on, Lovo became Monke’s main associate, out of fear that Monke would do the same to him if he didn’t obey orders from his new boss.
Monke now had to organize his priorities: He had to see what direction to take his new organization in. He had to get the local companies to pay protection, and to eradicate any Camonte loyalists.
One day, there was a beautiful event with sales in the mall. Suddenly, sounds of gunshots were heard outside: The police guarding the mall had been injured by Monke and his men. Monke and his men invaded the mall, and started smashing the things inside the stores and threatening the shop keepers.
More police arrived, and a gunfight broke out. Monke hid behind a wall and shot a few police men with his Nagant M1895 revolver. Lovo and the others also started shooting. After many casualties on both sides, Monke and his surviving men saw helicopters land outside through the windows.
It was the helicopters they had arranged for to come pick them up.
They quickly moved outside and got on them. While flying away, police helicopters followed them. Monke saw and grabbed an AK-47 in the helicopter and peeked over. He started firing and the helicopters quickly started crashing one after the other.
Monke and his men eventually got away.
Back at the apartment, Monke started receiving notes from the shopkeepers that they would start paying up.
A few months later, Monke finally had his organization fully set up.
The organization’s name? SMERSH. Borrowed from the Soviet intelligence organization of the same name.
Eventually, Comrade Monke gathered more power in his hands than Al Capone ever had. He controlled politicians, actors, directors, and clubs, cabarets, restaurants, shops, and more.
However, the government had to stop him. Due to his Soviet influences, he was considered a communist threat.
In an interview conducted in 1949, Monke even stated, to a question regarding his soviet influences:
“Don’t get the idea that I am a mere businessman, robbed of any ideological identity. I am a radical.”
One day, Monke was attacked in his apartment. He quickly got up from his couch, did the sign of the cross, for he was a devout Christian and even involved in mysticism, picked up an AK-47, and hid behind the desk.
When he saw them coming, Monke fired at them, killing most of them and injuring the rest. He got out of the room and killed several more assassins before he arrived to the roof, only to see Johnny Lovo fighting alongside the assassins.
Monke jumped behind some metal barrels, he fired “blindly” towards the position of Lovo, injuring him and also killing the other assassins.
He walked up to Lovo and shot him, blowing his brains out.
When he had disposed of the rest of the assassins, he walked downstairs and saw the police arrive. He dropped his gun and was arrested.
However, through pulling some strings, and thanks to his soviet influences, he managed to get out, and he is still alive.
And Monke still rules, and is becoming stronger and stronger everyday. Even after the fall of the Soviet Union, Monke, his budgerigar Pepita or Pepi and SMERSH are still thriving!
THE END
In about 1946, lived the Russian Comrade Monke, destined to become the world’s most powerful and most intelligent primate. He was always dressed in a red coat with white pants. He also wore an Ushanka with the Soviet hammer and sickle on it. He had a large scar on his face, which resulted in the nickname "SCARMONKEY." Also, he owned a pet budgerigar, named Pepi or Pepita. Born on September 19 of an unknown year, and after fighting for the bolsheviks during the Russian Civil War and for the Soviets during World War 2, or the Great Patriotic War as he called it, he arrived in America.
He committed his first crime there, and for a valuable object.
But what an object!
Standing there in the valuable case surrounded by bulletproof glass, Monke was eyeing it for a long time now. It was a rare, beautiful golden medallion, with a skull that resembled the jolly roger pirate flag on it. It was always surrounded by guards, and not even someone who worked there, such as Monke who worked there as a bouncer, could get close to it.
Comrade Monke would not be stopped however, for when he had set something as his goal, he would stop at nothing to get it.
So he planned on how to steal it. He bribed one of the guards to get a copy of the club’s plans, gathered a few friends in a room, and according to the account of one of them, started talking to them about his plan:
-First, we’re gonna disable the alarm. Afterwards we’re gonna cut off the power…
Then one of his friends responded, before Monke could even finish his sentence:
-And why disable the alarm if we’re gonna cut off the power anyway.
-The club has a specially-built system. The moment you mess with the power source, the alarm goes off.
Monke continued explaining:
-So we disable the alarm, then the power source. Then, when the guards can’t see anything, we quickly knock them out and then carefully remove the glass. Then we take the object, and walk away very rich men and well, monkeys!
And so they gathered in an alley outside the club, and prepared to steal the item.
-Did you get everything? All the equipment? Asked Monke
-Yes.
-Great, now let’s move!
Comrade Monke and the crew quickly entered the club through a back door. They moved towards the room with the cameras, where the alarm’s settings were. Monke saw a guard sitting in a chair: He grabbed a bat he had with him and knocked the guard out.
After they had disabled the alarm and the cameras, they moved to the room with the power source, and turned it off, causing the few lights in the closed club to turn off as well. Comrade Monke and his crew then moved to the room where the object was. The guards had dispersed and were looking for the intruders.
Monke and his crew knocked them out one by one. They then removed the bulletproof glass and Monke finally got his hands on what he had desired for so long!
However, it was then that all the lights turned on. Monke saw armed men entering through all the doors, and gunning down his crew. Monke was shot in the shoulder and passed out.
When he woke up, he saw him walk up to him: The gangster Tony Camonte. At some point he stopped walking, and Monke feared for his life. He feared that Camonte would pull out a gun and shoot him in cold blood. That’s the reputation Camonte had.
But instead, Camonte started talking to him:
-Comrade Monke, you monkey bastard! You almost succeeded, but I am smarter than you. I could squash you right now, but it seems like you’ll prove useful to me! If you love your life, you’ll obey me and do what I say. Deal?
He said this and reached out for a handshake.
Comrade Monke got up and shook Camonte’s hand reluctantly.
-Deal!
Comrade Monke knew Camonte was not a good guy to make a deal with. He knew that at any point, he could just burst out and kill him. So he had to take him out.
But in the meantime, he had to do what Camonte ordered him to do, which included: assassinations, robbing banks, and stealing cars.
One night, while Camonte was sleeping in his large apartment, he heard a noise, specifically the noise of a window opening. He got up, put on his clothes, and grabbed the gun from his drawer. He went to the kitchen, where the sound was coming from, and saw the window open but he looked around and saw no one.
-Maybe it was just me and I had left it open.
He closed it and started heading back to his room, when he felt something hit him in the leg. He fell down and screamed in pain.
He then saw him approach:
Comrade Monke!
Monke walked up to him and aimed his gun at Camonte’s head.
-Say goodnight, mr. Camonte!
He said this and shot him, blowing his brains out.
Monke then cut off Camonte’s head, and put it in a package. He emailed it to Camonte’s main associate Johnny Lovo. Lovo was sleeping in his home, when he heard the bell ring. He got up, opened the door and saw the package. After he took it inside and opened it, he shouted in fear.
The head also had a piece of paper on it: “THIS TOWN BELONGS TO ME NOW!” read the note.
From that point on, Lovo became Monke’s main associate, out of fear that Monke would do the same to him if he didn’t obey orders from his new boss.
Monke now had to organize his priorities: He had to see what direction to take his new organization in. He had to get the local companies to pay protection, and to eradicate any Camonte loyalists.
One day, there was a beautiful event with sales in the mall. Suddenly, sounds of gunshots were heard outside: The police guarding the mall had been injured by Monke and his men. Monke and his men invaded the mall, and started smashing the things inside the stores and threatening the shop keepers.
More police arrived, and a gunfight broke out. Monke hid behind a wall and shot a few police men with his Nagant M1895 revolver. Lovo and the others also started shooting. After many casualties on both sides, Monke and his surviving men saw helicopters land outside through the windows.
It was the helicopters they had arranged for to come pick them up.
They quickly moved outside and got on them. While flying away, police helicopters followed them. Monke saw and grabbed an AK-47 in the helicopter and peeked over. He started firing and the helicopters quickly started crashing one after the other.
Monke and his men eventually got away.
Back at the apartment, Monke started receiving notes from the shopkeepers that they would start paying up.
A few months later, Monke finally had his organization fully set up.
The organization’s name? SMERSH. Borrowed from the Soviet intelligence organization of the same name.
Eventually, Comrade Monke gathered more power in his hands than Al Capone ever had. He controlled politicians, actors, directors, and clubs, cabarets, restaurants, shops, and more.
However, the government had to stop him. Due to his Soviet influences, he was considered a communist threat.
In an interview conducted in 1949, Monke even stated, to a question regarding his soviet influences:
“Don’t get the idea that I am a mere businessman, robbed of any ideological identity. I am a radical.”
One day, Monke was attacked in his apartment. He quickly got up from his couch, did the sign of the cross, for he was a devout Christian and even involved in mysticism, picked up an AK-47, and hid behind the desk.
When he saw them coming, Monke fired at them, killing most of them and injuring the rest. He got out of the room and killed several more assassins before he arrived to the roof, only to see Johnny Lovo fighting alongside the assassins.
Monke jumped behind some metal barrels, he fired “blindly” towards the position of Lovo, injuring him and also killing the other assassins.
He walked up to Lovo and shot him, blowing his brains out.
When he had disposed of the rest of the assassins, he walked downstairs and saw the police arrive. He dropped his gun and was arrested.
However, through pulling some strings, and thanks to his soviet influences, he managed to get out, and he is still alive.
And Monke still rules, and is becoming stronger and stronger everyday. Even after the fall of the Soviet Union, Monke, his budgerigar Pepita or Pepi and SMERSH are still thriving!
THE END
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