PD Fun Fiction

25 August 1758 I have been pressured by my wife and children to write a memoir of my adventure from years ago. I must now therefore travel to a simpler time, when I was a captain of a small transport ship. I remember us sailing through a terrible storm. We must have lost about 3 men while going through that disaster! We were trying to escape, and there was no escape: Our ship was launched towards an island, and was crushed into a rock. Nobody except me survived. I passed out. When I woke up, I was tied to a tree. I was sure I would die of starvation, but then I saw them appearing one by one behind a large rock: Four men, all dressed with terrible, ripped clothes. Could they be…? But no. I thought there was no way they were… I can’t even say the word. However when they approached me and started talking, I was certain: These men… they were… PIRATES! They approached me and untied me. They then escorted me, at the point of the sword, to their leader. I shall never call him captain, for t...

NAME: Comrade Monke EYE COLOR: Orange SPECIES: Primate TYPE: Unknown (possibly black crested macaque) WANTED FOR: Armed robbery, protection racketeering, espionage, terrorism, murder, weapon smuggling, gold smuggling, leading a criminal organization, identity fraud, impersonation DESCRIPTION: Not much is known about the very early life of the mysterious yet prominent Rasputin-like Christian mystic figure and Marxist-Leninist archterrorist Comrade Monke. He was probably born during the Russian revolution, making him about 108 or 109 years old. According to various witnesses and testimonies, he committed his first crime at about 16 years old. It was espionage. He had apparently given Western military secrets to the Soviet Union, after buying them from the Mafia. He also worked for the Mafia, did jail time and possibly even became a Made Man. After that, he travelled around the world. However, it was during his time in the Vatican that he converted to Catholicism. After traveling to Lati...