The Attempt on Monke's Life



He woke up at around 7:00 AM. Not even his budgie parrot, a beautiful white and blue female named Pepi or Pepita, had woken up yet. Comrade Monke got out of bed and went to the bathroom. After that, he went back to his room, prayed a “Hail Mary,” and got dressed. He went outside. The grocery store was just a couple of blocks away.


After 15 minutes of walking, he finally saw it. He walked towards it, got inside and bought some strawberries -his favorite- and then went outside again. As he started walking home, he noticed someone following him. He knew something was up, he started running and turned left towards an alley.


The mysterious man followed him and as Monke was running, the man pulled out a gun. He fired at Monke four times, and two of the bullets hit Monke. He fell on the ground and so did the fruit he had bought. Monke was bleeding out. The assassin disappeared. The nearby residents who heard the gunshots went to check what’s going on.


Monke was taken to a hospital. Miss Anastasia and the “chief” of the Soviet Secret Service visited him. Anastasia approached him. Monke was sleeping. Anastasia was concerned. Would Monke make it?


The chief could tell what Anastasia was thinking. So he approached her.


-He will make it. Monke’s tough. If he survived WWII and all those war injuries, surely he will survive this.


They then heard a knock on the door. The chief went and opened the door. He then saw a blonde, muscular man.


-Who are you?


-The name’s Nicholas. I am here to see Mr. Monke.


-He is sleeping.


-This is urgent!


Nicholas went inside despite the chief’s objections. He grabbed Monke’s hand and shook it to wake him up. Monke opened his eyes and saw him.


-Who are you?


-I am Nicholas. The General Secretary has appointed me to assist you in finding your assassin.


-Sorry, I work alone.


-I am afraid you doing this alone isn’t an option, Comrade Monke. The General Secretary ordered me to assist you, and there’s no way I am disobeying his orders.


Monke was really skeptical of this. His entire life he had worked to defend the soviet socialist ideal and he had done it alone. However, if the General Secretary truly ordered this, Monke didn’t want to displease him.


-Alright, give me a week to get out of here.


-As you wish, Mr. Monke.


After a week had passed, Monke was finally given an exit ticket.


When he went outside, he saw Nicholas waiting for him in a car. Monke approached it and went inside.


-So, what’s our first stop?


-I have a few potential suspects back at the station.


-The station it is, then!


They drove towards the station, parked the car, and got out. They went inside and walked towards the room with the suspects.


-Can you identify any of them?


Monke took a good look at them.


-No.


Just as Nicholas was about to give the order to let them all go, however, Monke recognized one of them as resembling the assassin that tried to kill him. He was a large muscular and blonde man like Nicholas.


-WAIT! I think it’s him.


-Very well then.


The other suspects were given the order to get out. The person Monke recognized was about to be interrogated. When Monke was about to enter the interrogation room, Nicholas stopped him, and told him to wait outside the station. Monke was weirded out by this, but did what he was told.


An hour later, Monke saw Nicholas exit the station.


-Did he admit to it?


-Yes, and he will be prosecuted for it. Now, let’s get you back home.


Monke and Nicholas went inside the car and they drove back to Monke’s home. When they arrived, Monke offered Nicholas to come inside for a drink. Nicholas said yes. They got out of the car, and walked inside.


When Monke was pouring the vodka for Nicholas, he felt something cold touch him. He took a look, and saw Nicholas holding his gun and touching Monke in the back with it.


-Nicholas, I never liked your face.


-I might not have killed you a week ago, but now, it’s gonna be definitive!


Monke kicked Nicholas backwards, causing Nicholas to accidentally fire on the ceiling, Monke took out his gun and shot Nicholas in the head, blowing his brains out.


-From the motherland, with love! Said Monke.


Monke buried the body in his backyard. He went inside and made some calls to make sure the man Nicholas had forced to admit to attempting to assassinate Monke would not face criminal charges. He cleaned the living room, and went back to his room. He said goodnight to his pet budgie.


Monke hid the gun, grabbed a rosary and thanked the Virgin Mary that he had survived twoyet again. He then fell asleep, awaiting his next adventure.


The end of Nicholas, but Comrade Monke will return!

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