Comrade Monke and the Golden Canary

Once upon a time, there was a country which spanned Europe and Asia. Its name was the Soviet Union. And in it lived a great protector of it, someone who instilled happiness and a sense of safety in the hearts of its citizens and fear and dread in the enemies of it. A primate. His name was Comrade Monke.


Now, the Soviet Union had a leader, the general secretary. He owned an aviary inside his residence, the Kremlin, and he took great care of it. It was full of many different birds, but one stood out: The golden canary. It was the most fascinating bird anyone could see in their lifetimes. No one knew its origin exactly, but many legends had been told about it, including a popular one that it had sailed with pirates and was over 1800 years old, that it was once a human cursed by a witch, and many more.


One night, unknown to the general secretary, the canary was stolen. When the leader found out about it, he became depressed, and sadness filled his heart. So he wasted no time, and quickly summoned Comrade Monke, Perseus, who was a spy for the Soviet Union, and Vladimir Ivanovich, his personal advisor.


“Oh my children, and I call you my children because you are like sons to me, I require your help! The golden canary has been stolen, and great sadness has been instilled in my heart! I need it to be recovered, and for that I have summoned you. I suspect that whoever stole it, will come back to steal more of my precious pets. I need you to guard my aviary for three days, Ivanovich on the first day, Perseus on the second, and Comrade Monke on the third, and catch whoever attempts to steal them.”


Now, the three agents, Monke, Perseus and Ivanovich, did as they were told. On the first day Ivanovich guarded the aviary door. However, he got sleepy, and could not keep his eyes open. So he fell asleep on the floor. Thus, he did not hear a sound when the mysterious intruder stole some of the birds. The next day, he went to the secretary to report.


“Did you see who the intruder was?”


“No, they did not make an appearance.”


The next day, it was the turn of Perseus to guard the aviary. While guarding it, he got distracted by some weird sounds that he heard. So he made his way to another room to investigate. While there, the mysterious intruder went inside and stole some of the birds.


The next day, he went to the secretary to report.


“Did you see the intruder?”


“No, they did not appear.”


The third day, it was the turn of Comrade Monke.

Monke went to the aviary and started guarding it, knowing full well that the intruder would do anything to get Monke to not see him.


Some weird sounds were heard by Monke, but he paid no attention. “Those are probably distractions of the enemy” he thought. He then saw him enter: A large creature with wings, standing on only two legs. It had the face and wings of a bat, and the legs of a pigeon. On its face, a large, hooked beak.


Monke took a step back, and hid behind a crate. The creature was holding a cage with its beak, it grabbed a few birds and put them inside. It then tried to fly away. Monke wasted no time and ran and grabbed it by its wing, tearing off a small piece of it. Monke went to his home, and put it in his cabinet to preserve it.


The next day, Monke, Ivanovich and Perseus were summoned by the secretary. He was so pleased that Monke had succeeded in capturing even a tiny fraction of the monstrous creature who had been emptying the aviary.


“My beloved children, I have a mission for you: Go and capture the bat-creature and bring it to me alive. Whoever succeeds will keep the golden canary for himself.”


Perseus and Ivanovich had hatred in their hearts for Monke, because he had succeeded and he had done what they couldn’t: Capture even a tiny fraction of the bat creature. They went forth and received the secretary’s blessing to go and look for the bat monster. Monke went forth also, but the secretary was worried about letting the protector of the country go accomplish such a dangerous mission.


But it had to be done, and so Monke prayed to Christ for strength, chose a horse and rode away, heading to his mission.


After riding for hours, Monke had arrived in Poland. He had a great affection for this country, where its citizens were dedicated to building a better world, but were also faithful to Jesus Christ through the Catholic religion, just like Monke himself. He eventually arrived in a green field, where he saw a large stone, and on it was carved a message:


“WHOEVER COMES STRAIGHT UP TO THIS STONE, WILL GO COLD AND HUNGRY. WHOEVER PROCEEDS TO THE LEFT SIDE WILL DIE BUT HIS HORSE WILL BE WELL, AND WHOEVER PROCEEDS TO THE RIGHT SIDE, WILL FACE A LOT OF TURMOIL AND EVIL, BUT WILL COME OUT VICTORIOUS.”


Monke went to the right. At first, it seemed like nothing was happening. He rode for two to three days uninterrupted. But on the fourth day, a large bird who looked like a parrot, appeared out of nowhere. And it threw Monke off the horse, and it grabbed the horse with its feet and flew away. Monke wept bitterly for his horse, but he had a goal and he had to accomplish it.


Monke walked for two entire days, with only very small breaks for water and some food and sleep, when he saw the large bird coming back. Monke took out his revolver and prepared to shoot it when he saw that it just landed on the ground, and started speaking to him:


“Oh, Comrade Monke, protector of the people, warrior of God and of the Soviets, you look tired. I am sorry for taking away your horse, he has enslaved me to do his will, but I’ve decided I must break free. So please, if you can forgive me, ride on my back and I will take you to your goal.”


And thus, Comrade Monke forgave the large parrot bird, and rode on its back.


Meantime Perseus and Ivanovich were riding on their horses, and they arrived at the same stone that Monke had seen. They did not stop to read it, and so they quickly rode straight in front of the stone, and then went right. While riding, they felt cold, and suddenly hungry. But they didn’t have any food to eat, because they had forgotten to take some with them and they had taken only water. And so they stopped riding, and they went into the woods and looked for fruit to eat.


After a few hours, Monke had arrived in a castle, and the bird landed on the roof, and told him:


“That’s as far as I can take you, Comrade Monke. From now on, you must rely on yours and God’s strength to carry out your mission. But if you need anything else, don’t hesitate to use this whistle to call upon me, and I will come immediately to your aid.”


“Thank you, and I hope we will see each other again” replied Monke. The bird then flew away.


Monke quickly went inside the castle, and started looking for the creature from room to room. In a room, he found the golden canary, captured in a small cage. Around it, the bodies of the other birds that had been stolen by the creature. He grabbed the cage with the golden canary in it. Then, he found a dark room with a coffin inside. And he went inside slowly. He opened the coffin and saw the creature sleeping. He took out a rope and slowly started tying the creature’s feet and wings, and when he had done so, he closed the coffin, and carried it and the small cage to the roof.


He grabbed the whistle the bird had given him, and used it. And he saw the bird fly towards the roof, and land on it.


“Oh Comrade Monke, how happy I am that you managed to capture him! Now quickly, put it on my back and ride on me also, and I will take you back to the Soviet Union, where I am sure the allies you told me about, Perseus and Vladimir Ivanovich, will be waiting for you so you can all celebrate together!”


Thus, Monke got on the bird’s back along with the coffin and the cage, and they flew away.


Later, Perseus and Ivanovich saw the large bird while it was flying with Monke and the coffin on it. And they decided to exterminate the bird and Monke, so they could take the coffin and see if the creature was inside, and if it was, they would deliver it to the general secretary, and claim the golden canary for themselves.

They took out their guns, and fired them up in the air. Some of the bullets hit the bird, killing it and making it fall down to the ground. The fall injured Monke, and he saw the two traitors walk up to him and shoot him in the chest and stomach, killing him.


Perseus and Ivanovich quickly took the cage. They also took the coffin and opened it. When they saw the creature in it, they closed it, put it on one of the horses along with the cage, and rode back to the Soviet Union.


While Monke’s body was lying there cold, a pilgrim passed by. He saw Monke and the bird dead. He unfortunately couldn’t carry the bird, but for Monke, he used all his strength and carried him back to his residence.


When they arrived there, the pilgrim used a potion, and poured it into Monke’s mouth. Suddenly, Monke’s heart began beating once again, and he opened his eyes. He saw the pilgrim, and told him:


“Where am I?”


“Relax, primate, you are in safe hands. Now tell me, who killed you?”


Comrade Monke explained to the pilgrim what had taken place, and the pilgrim let him take a horse from his barn so he could get back to the Soviet Union. Monke did exactly that, he went to the barn, and picked a beautiful black horse. He got on it, and before he could ride away, the pilgrim shouted:


“STOP!”


“What has happened?” Asked Monke.


“Take this rosary, it shall keep you safe during your trip.”


“Thank you” replied Monke, and rode away.


When he arrived in the Soviet Union, he immediately went to the Kremlin, and when he entered, saw the secretary about to congratulate them.


“DO NOT!” Shouted Monke.


“Why shall I not congratulate them? You accomplished nothing, while they brought back the canary and the creature alive.”

Monke then took off his coat and shirt, and showed the general secretary his wounds that had been inflicted on him by Perseus and Ivanovich.


“They shot me and killed me. I am the one who accomplished the mission, and I am the one responsible for capturing the creature and rescuing your golden canary.”


The secretary saw the wounds and believed Monke. And so, Monke was given the golden canary in a large cage, just like it had been promised. The traitors were sent to jail, and Comrade Monke lived for many many years, protecting the Soviet Union and its people. And they lived happily ever after. The end.