The Patriarch



She walked inside the restaurant and made her way over to the kitchen. She placed her hand on the white wall, pushed against it, and a piece was pushed inside like a button. The wall split in half and opened, revealing a large staircase downwards. She entered and the wall behind her closed.


She walked downstairs and made a turn left. She moved in a straight line and then turned right until she reached a large dark room. She saw a mysterious figure sitting there. She sat down.


-What may I do for you, lady? Said the figure.


-Patriarch, I need your help.


The “patriarch” turned on the light on his desk. What this light revealed shocked her and made her feel disturbed and scared:


A primate sitting there. He was dressed in a red suit and was smoking. On his desk, a stand for parrots with a budgie parrot on it. A beautiful white-and-blue female named Pepi or Pepita. The desk also had other things on it: A Bible, a crucifix, statues of the Virgin Mary and Jesus, as well as a picture of Camilo Torres Restrepo.


-As I asked you lady, what can I do for you?


She was scared, but she continued:


-I need help finding my brother. He has been missing for a while now. I suspect he may have gotten mixed up in bad company. He had been hanging around with some local thugs before he went missing.


The primate got up and approached her, scaring her slightly.


-What was your son’s name?


-Aldo Leone.


-I will find him.


The primate then lifted his hand and stretched it towards her mouth. The woman was confused but then understood that the primate was basically asking her to kiss his ring. The woman grabbed the primate’s hand and kissed it. She then got up and thanked the primate.


Before she left, it occurred to her that he may want payment for his services.


She turned around.


-Do you demand payment?


The primate turned around and had an angry look, almost as if she was insulting him.


-I am not that type of person… Miss.


-I am sorry then. Goodbye.


The lady left.


The primate was none other than SMERSH leader and soviet operative Comrade Monke, also known as the patriarch for his deep Catholic faith and practice of Christian mysticism.


Monke then picked up the phone and gave this order to his troops: Track down and find Aldo Leone.


Monke then, with his parrot perched on his shoulder, began walking back to his private apartments. Once there, he entered. He sat down, did the sign of the cross, picked up a rosary and prayed that God help this poor woman in her pain over losing track of her son.


After that, Monke fell asleep, after putting Pepi or Pepita back in her cage.


The next morning, Monke woke up and received a phone call from the woman. Her son had been found, and the bastards that kidnapped her had been taken care of. Monke said “You’re welcome,” and hung up the phone. He then fell asleep again.

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