On the Trail of Captain Nazi

It was 1951, 9:50 PM, Athens was full of people, both greeks and foreign tourists looking to have fun. A taxi door opens and a mysterious, short figure walks out. He closes the door and tosses the taxi driver a pile of cash. The driver thanks him, and drives off. The short figure stood before the hotel building and entered, he was welcomed by the man behind the counter, “Mr Smith? Room 15 is ready sir”. The figure thanked him, took the key and took the elevator to floor 2. He opened the door, entered and opened the lights.


The figure in reality is Comrade Monke, a soviet agent, assassin, and master of many other jobs. He had been created by Ilya Ivanov in the 1920’s when he was conducting experiments to create the ultimate monkey-human hybrid superwarrior. Monke was the only successful one of these. Despite being the anthropomorphic result of a experiment, meaning he has no family, and being mostly viewed as a weapon, he displays lots of style and personality, including a very strong Christian faith, a deep sense of justice, mercy and love even for his enemies, and a strong desire for smoking, drinking, gambling and all the common things that usually ruin people and… monkeys.


He put his suitcase on a small table, took out the tape that included his mission, and poured a glass of wine. He put in the tape player the room had, and a deep voice, probably altered to avoid identification of the person, started playing, outlining the mission: “Agent, this is your superior speaking, if you’re listening to this, you probably have arrived safe and sound at the Hotel Kefalas in athens, your mission is the assassination of Baron Albrecht Krieger, AKA Captain Nazi: the nazi superwarrior who has gone into hiding ever since Hitler committed suicide. You know his crimes and atrocities better than us, so there’s no need of mentioning them in this tape. I trust you have all the necessary equipment and disguises to carry out this mission. Good luck agent.”


Monke not only knew, but when he was a spy during WW2, had seen the crimes of Captain Nazi himself. Thankfully he had avoided meeting him, so he could approach him directly before finding the right moment to send him to hell, where Monke knew he belonged. He smoked his pipe, drank his wine, and went to sleep.


The next day he woke up at 10:10 AM. He got dressed and went to the hotel pool. He put on his bathing suit and went into the pool, observing the people. Most of them rich, they were famous for supposedly being great, self-made people who contributed to philanthropy. But Monke, being a spy, was not easily fooled. He knew all their deeds. Pavlos John for example, one of the people in the hotel, an american-greek billionaire, was presented by the media as a Christian man who supposedly cared for his employees and loved his family. Monke, being a soviet agent and having access to NKVD files, knew the truth. He was a nazi collaborator, a dirty business man who abused his workers and who only pretends to believe in God when it suits his interests, and also was unfaithful to his wife. Him and many people were at the hotel, and Monke wanted nothing more than to plant a bullet in their skull, but they weren’t the targets, at least for now.


Monke saw a blonde man walking inside the hotel lounge area, where the pool was. He was muscular, tall, and walked like he was marching. His mere shadow was frightening, and even Monke, who had faced many strong warriors, was a little intimidated. This was Captain Nazi. He got inside the pool as well, and saw Monke. Nazi approached him and talked to him. They introduced themselves to the other, with Monke identifying himself with the fake name “John Smith''. Nazi commented that that was the most generic name he had ever heard, and offered to buy him drinks, with Monke accepting the offer.


Monke hated talking to Nazi, but he had to in order to find the perfect moment to assassinate him. He was invited to Nazi’s casino, and accepted the invite, saying he’ll be there by 12:25 AM. He was no stranger to cards and other gambling games. Back in the USSR, he used to play quite a bit privately with fellow agents and even soviet leaders occasionally, often betting using bananas instead of rubles. He needed to accept this invite to get closer to Nazi and, aside from assassinating him, also learn of any other affairs he may be involved in.


Nazi climbed up and got outside the pool, he grabbed a towel and dried himself. He left back to his hotel room. Monke did the same shortly after. He went back to his room and took out the pack of cards he was carrying in his suitcase, and quickly reminded himself of the rules of Poker, Blackjack, and all other casino games. After falling asleep for half an hour or so, 12:25 AM was approaching, and Monke, before leaving, recited a short prayer and put on a fancy suit, which also featured a red tie. He took a cab to the casino and was there 5 minutes earlier than intended. Nazi welcomed him.


Monke sat at a poker table, and started playing against some of the most well-known gamblers of athens. He had marked his cards, thus ensuring victory in the games. Nazi invited Monke to his personal suite. When they entered, Monke was shocked at the impressive decoration, full of gold, stolen from victims of the nazi reich. Nazi offered to pour them some drinks but Monke offered to do it instead, thinking this would be the perfect opportunity to kill Nazi. He poured whiskey, and poisoned one of the glasses using Rat Poison. He gave it to Nazi, but he threw the glass to the floor, breaking it. Nazi told Monke he knew who he was and that he was working as a soviet agent intent on killing him. Monke pulled a gun but Nazi kicked it out of his hand and they engaged in hand to hand combat. Monke kicked him but Nazi managed to press an alarm button on the wall, notifying his personal bodyguards. Monke grabbed his gun and tried to shoot at Nazi but Nazi avoided the bullets.


The soldiers entered the room. They had powerful, advanced armors, and masks that covered their entire face. Monke realized shooting at them was not of any worth since they couldn’t be damaged, and run towards the window while shooting at it to break it, and jumped down to the balcony of a different room, entered it, and escaped through the room’s door while exclaiming “sorry!” to the couple that resided in the room. He got to the main floor of the casino where all the security guards were. He shot at them and run out of the casino, stole a limousine and drove far away from the casino.


Nazi’s guards persuaded him in armored trucks but eventually lost him. Monke went back to his room, quickly packed his stuff, and quickly drove to the airport. However, he was wanted by the police, and as such couldn’t legally take a flight back to the USSR. He noticed a billionaire’s private jet was about to live, and decided to hijack that plane back to his country. He entered the plane, knocked out the billionaire, and at gunpoint made the pilot fly to the Soviet Union.


The planes of Captain Nazi chased after the plane Monke was on. They started shooting at it. The pilot did his best to avoid the gunfire but the plane was eventually shot and caught on fire. The pilot was killed by the fire. Monke took control of the plane, but it was now completely unstable. He started seeing some ground, and he eventually realized it was a soviet airport. He was approaching the ground, but he couldn’t land safely. He hid in the airplanes fridge and started praying to survive. The aircraft crush-landed in the airport. Monke kicked the fridge door open and got out, thanking Christ that he had survived.


One of the heads of the Soviet secret agency, Vyacheslav Vladimir, was convinced that there’s no way Monke could have survived this, and was surprised to see Monke alive and without injury. “Ah agent Monke!” he exclaimed. “Another impressive entrance”. Monke told him that Captain Nazi had gotten away, to which Vladimir replied he knew because another spy had informed him that Nazi had been spotted in Turkey.


Monke wasted no time. He took a nice, warm bath, ate some soup, and slept. The next morning he immediately took a flight to turkey. After landing in Ankara, he traveled to a local hotel to put his suitcase in. He then left almost immediately and begun asking around to find information on where Nazi could be. After having looked for 3 and a half hours, he saw an injured worker, bleeding in a pavement not far from an old, probably abandoned factory. He lifted him in his arms and carried him to the nearest hospital, where they treated him.


After the worker was in better condition the next day, Monke asked him how he got injured. The worker said he was beaten by a tall, blonde man with a weird looking costume and a swastika in the middle. Monke realized he was describing Captain Nazi. The worker then explained that Captain Nazi wanted to use the factory, probably to construct nuclear weapons that could assist his plans for world domination.


Monke immediately went to the factory. He hid behind some crates, in the factory’s front yard, trucks were entering the yard. Monke knocked out two guards and hanged onto the back doors of a truck, he opened the doors, entered and closed them, only to see guards looking at him, shocked. He knocked them out quickly, and remained alone in the truck. He got off and sneaked around until he reached the top floor. He saw some Nazi guards coming, so he climbed out the window and got back up when they were gone. He saw the door of the office Nazi was hiding in was open and slowly entered. Nazi was sleeping.


Monke grabbed his gun and his silencer, but before he could finish Nazi once and for all, the Captain suddenly woke up. He pressed the alert button and hid behind his office. Monke shot and killed many neo-nazi goons but they kept coming. Nazi grabbed his gun and tried to shoot at Monke but Monke jumped out of the way. Nazi got out the door and decided to finally show his powers in their maximum form. He took flight. Monke jumped and grabbed onto his leg, bringing Nazi down to the ground. Monke then climbed on top of him and started punching him but Nazi kicked him off. Nazi and his goons surrounded him. Monke however, had a huge smile on his face. “What are you smiling about? Russia is about to lose it’s best agent!” said Nazi. “Take a look behind you, Baron Krieger” Monke responded. Nazi turned and saw the turkish army behind him.


A shootout broke out between the neo-nazi army and the turkish. Nazi attempted to fly off but Monke grabbed onto to him again, and Nazi could only fly a short while before falling on the factory roof. Monke and Nazi engaged in hand to hand combat. Monke punched him off the roof, and to a tank of chemicals that were being used in the making of the nuclear weapons, killing him and putting an end to his reign of terror once and for all.


The surviving neo-nazis were arrested by the turkish, who then congratulated Monke for his heroic actions. Monke returned to the USSR where he received Medals. He went to his Dacha, where he lighted a cigar and poured a glass of whine, patiently awaiting his next mission.


The End of Captain Nazi, but Comrade Monke will certainly go on many more adventures!