PD Fun Fiction

London, post-war period, Cold War. The night had been difficult for Agent Croco. The smoking and drinking were killing him, yet he, for some reason, couldn’t stop them. He put out the last cigarette of the package, and, feeling like he would pass out, picked up the phone and tried to call for help, but fell down before he could. Later, the door opened and he was found by the secretary of the Chief of MI6. He was taken unconscious to the office, where he woke up. The Chief was angry: -”CROCO! How many times have I told you to quit drinking and smoking?” -”Can you not shout sir? MY HEAD HURTS!” -”You dare raise your voice while you’re in this mess?” -”Ok let’s calm down for a minute… what mess?” -“You don’t know?” -”Oh you’re talking about my slight accident?” -”This isn’t an accident! It’s entirely your fault Croco!” -”If we assume it’s my fault… What do you propose we do?” -”Immediate rehabilitation! You will be locked inside a rehab clinic and will not come out of there until you’re ...

Flowers, a sunrise... What a beautiful day exists beyond the window! Suddenly however, it broke. A man burst through it. The pieces of glass went deep inside him, making him bleed. Suddenly, a deep, terrifying voice was heard: -”Where is he?” The man wasn’t answering, so he kicked him in the face. -”I won’t be so polite next time!” -”Ath- Athe- Athens!” And so he went to Athens. Same story. The man he was interrogating wasn’t answering. Then He pulled out a gun and aimed it at him. The man got scared. And that same deep voice was heard: -”WHERE IS HE?” -”Ask… her.” -”What’s her name?” -”Konstantina!” And so he went to Konstantina: -”Where is he?” -”Volgograd! Now, please, don’t hurt me!” -”Volgograd it is, then.” Agent Croco, the anthropomorphic Crocodile and Britain’s best agent, hid his gun and immediately traveled back to London. He entered the headquarters of MI6 and spoke to the “chief:” -”Chief, I gotta speak to you.” -”What is it? I was just about to sit down, relax and drink s...

1960’s, Soviet Union. The man was walking towards the dark room, and, after being frisked, was allowed entrance. The door opened seemingly by itself, as if the room was haunted by supernatural forces. The man sat down in a chair and started talking, as if he was confessing to a priest: -”18 years ago, we secretly travelled to the Soviet Union, seeking a better life. Me, my baby daughter, and my late wife. I raised my daughter the Russian way. I taught her to keep her honor. But she… went and found a boyfriend. He was a former Red Army soldier. Ever since, she always returned late to my home, but I didn't complain… Few days ago, she returned home with a damaged eye and a broken arm. I asked her what had happened. She told me her boyfriend tried to seduce her but she refused, so he beat her… like an animal. I went to the police and reported the crime. But the judge, what a fool, he let the bastard go… Now he’s walking free on the streets while my daughter suffers in the hospital. Th...

A cold day in Moscow. Behind the Kremlin, in a dark alley, a bomb had gone off. The soviet authorities went there as fast they could. The police searched the remains. 40 bodies and another 70 people had been injured. In the explosion. Of course, SMERSH had to get involved too. The organization headed by Comrade Monke had to find out who was behind the bombing and get revenge on them. Monke drove there as fast as he could. He opened the car’s door, exited the driver’s seat, and closed the door. He walked up to the crime scene and saw the horror with his own eyes: Body parts and dead bodies with their legs and arms missing everywhere. Monke walked up to one of the police officers: -”Hello officer. Allow me to introduce myself. The name’s Monke, Comrade Monke. I have been authorized by the soviet government to carry out an investigation of the terrorist attack that had taken place earlier here.” -”Look. I know nothing, go ask one of the survivors that are being loaded on the ambulances.”...

It was night. As the moon started appearing, the seas were calming down from the storm. A small sailboat was sailing. Inside, the cabin was not very decorated or impressive: a small bed for one, a toilet and a very small kitchen. Next to the bed was a desk made of wood, and on it there were many electronic devices, including a laptop. In a smaller piece of furniture, there was a TV and a game console. Above the bed was a Christian icon of Jesus Christ, as the owner was a devout Christian. Next to the desk, hanging on the wall was a cage with a small domestic canary in it. What a beautiful creature of God! One wing was completely yellow, while the other was mostly black, as was its face. It was a male and his name was Lelos. But who did the sailboat and canary belong to? None other than the legendary anthropomorphic monkey and former SMERSH leader and soviet agent Comrade Monke. This sailboat was his new base of operations, 30+ years after the fall of the Soviet Union, Monke did not gi...

The moon appeared as the light transitioned into the night slowly. Another day had come to an end. It was cold in Soviet Russia. But despite the freezing temperatures, there was an odd peace around. The Red Army had just finished marching, and the soldiers were returning home. One of the soldiers, however, started walking towards a restaurant. It was called “Karl Marx’s,” in honor of the communist theorist and writer of the Communist Manifesto. It served some of the best borscht in Moscow. The soldier knocked three times and the doors opened. He walked to the kitchen and entered it. He pushed against the wall and it split in half, revealing a staircase and a dark environment. He wasn’t scared at all. He walked down the staircase as if he knew nothing bad would happen to him. He kept walking and walking, until he came across a large gate made of steel. A machine attached to the wall scanned him and the gate opened. He walked through it. Voices started being heard: -”We have invested h...

Our sloop, the Ranger, was miles off Tortuga. I was inside the tavern drinking rum along with my crew when i went outside to look at the stars and that’s when i saw it: A royal navy ship, approaching! I warned my swashbuckling crew of what was coming and they quickly evacuated. While the citizens of Tortuga were hiding in their homes we went into the longboats to go back to our ship and quickly get out of there. But it was too late, the navy ship had already docked and royal navy soldiers were invading tortuga, arresting pirates left and right! It wasn’t long before they arrested us too. They took us, tied the Ranger to their ship, and left, having arrested dozens of pirates. While we were sailing towards England, I managed to use my beak to cut the ropes that they had tied us with. We took our swords, pistols, etc and freed the other pirates as well. Oh yeah, this might be a good time to introduce myself. I am Lelos the canary. Captain Lelos the canary. So anyways. It was then that t...