Comrade Monke and the Vampire Brides

She woke up tied to a bed. She couldn’t recognize the room. The last thing she remembered was a pain in the head. However, she assumed she had been kidnapped. The chains were hurting her legs and hands.


Suddenly, he saw smoke coming from underneath the door. Then, the door was kicked open and she saw him: A large man, with grey hair all over his hands and face, and with an old-fashioned robe that was dark and red. She saw him approach her and she found him disgusting, but she also saw something charming in him.


Now, their eyes “locked” together, and they kept looking at each other. She was scared but also strangely relieved. That is, until he grabbed her by the neck and opened his mouth. His teeth were horrible, and two of them suddenly started extending. There was no doubt, this was a vampire!


He bit her deep in the neck, and she soon passed out after screaming so loud that people miles away could hear her.


After a few hours, she had turned herself. However, the mysterious vampire and the woman heard a knock on the door. He told her to go and look who it was. She did exactly that and when she peeked through the hole in the door, she saw a police man. She opened the door after her teeth had gone normal again.


The police man went inside and the door closed, seemingly on its own.


-Hello ma’am. I am sorry to bother you at this hour, but the people passing by reported hearing screaming. Are you alright?


-Honey, someone’s here! She shouted.


Suddenly, the mysterious vampire walked down the stairs but he had completely changed his appearance. Now, he looked normal, and the grey hair all over his body was gone. The hair he had on his head was black.


-Hello officer. May I ask why you’re disturbing us at this hour? Me and my wife were about to have dinner.


-I am sorry sir but the people passing by reported screaming. I wanted to see if everything was alright. I’ll be going.


The officer turned around.


-NOT SO FAST! Shouted the vampire.


The officer turned around again and now saw the vampire back to his regular, disgusting form.

The officer however, kicked the woman and escaped. The vampire tried chasing after him, and since it was night time he didn’t have any issues going outside, but the officer hid in an alley and escaped.


When the officer arrived back at the station, he described what he had seen to his fellow officers. Initially, they did not believe him and laughed at him. But a few days later, disappearances were reported, and the victims had been last seen entering that mysterious house.


It was then that the chief of the British police decided to contact someone… he never thought would have to contact. Someone who was not from Britain, but from the Soviet Union…


Comrade Monke.


A week later, Comrade Monke was sleeping in dacha when he heard a knock on the door. He got out of bed, put on his robe, and answered the door. When he opened the door, he saw a man dressed in black clothes, a black fedora hat and black sunglasses.


-Who are you?


-You’re Comrade Monke I imagine…


-Well it is your lucky day, for I just happen to be Comrade Monke!


-May I come in?


-Of course, but first tell me: Who the hell are you?


-Agent Martins.


-Oh I’ve heard about you! Come in.


Agent Martins went inside, escorted by Comrade Monke. They sat on Monke’s red couch.


-So, what brings you to our motherland, agent Martins?


-Look, Monke, things are serious. We need your help!


-What happened? Why does MI6 suddenly need my help?


-We are in need of your services to find out the secret behind a certain house in England. Many disappearances have been reported recently, and all the victims were last seen entering that house.


Comrade Monke lit a cigar, started smoking it, and then after not answering for a few minutes, put out the cigar.


-Let me remind you mister, that about a year ago, I discovered and stopped a plot for a genocide against the Soviet people. My people. This was directly financed and aided by MI6 and one of your most important agents, Agent Croco. And now you’re asking me to help you?


-We are deeply sorry for what the previous MI6 leadership did. But we really need you because you’re the only one who can stop this new disaster! British citizens are disappearing rapidly. More and more everyday. Children are losing their parents! Please Monke, you’re our only hope.


Comrade Monke got up.


-Alright, I’ll help you.


-Thank you!


-Infact, I can start right now! Just let me make a phone call first.


Monke went over to his phone. He called Anastasia, the secretary of the chief of the Soviet Secret Service.


-Anastasia. I am sorry to bother you at this hour, but I need you to come over to my dacha right now to take care of my parrot. I am leaving on an emergency mission. I’ll leave the keys inside a plant jar outside.


-Alright, just let me get dressed!


Comrade Monke got dressed and left along with Martins.


When they arrived at MI6 headquarters, Monke and Martins went inside and met with the new chief of MI6, and the policeman who had witnessed the vampire. Comrade Monke lit a cigar and sat down to question the policeman.


-So, officer, what did you see?


-I saw… a terrible, disgusting human. He had grey hair all over his hands and face. And he was accompanied by a woman, who also looked disgusting.


-Any distinguishable features in any of them?


-She had bite marks on her neck…


That confirmed the suspicions of Comrade Monke: They were vampires!

-And also… he wore a dark and red robe.


Monke was visibly shocked.


-Are you certain? Asked Monke.


-Positive!


Monke then put out the cigar and got up.


-Listen everyone, what we’re dealing with here is nothing to be taken lightly. We’re dealing with the lord of corruption, the master of evil… COUNT DRACULA!


-Count Dracula? Asked Martins


Monke nodded.


-One year ago I stabbed him with the golden crucifix I am wearing, in the same fight that killed one of your agents and former comrade of mine, Agent Croco. Seems, the evil Count found a way to return!


-How do we stop him? Asked the policeman.


-There are many ways. Stabbing him with a crucifix is sometimes enough. Note the word “sometimes.” It seems that I got lucky back then, because I have devoted myself to reading more on vampires since, including the works of the great Abraham Van Helsing, and from what I read it seems that stronger vampires like Count Dracula usually aren’t repelled by mere representations of Jesus, the rest of the Trinity or the Saints. Most times, they need actual sacramentals or the Blessed Sacrament to be defeated.


-Do you need Holy Water? I’ll get it for you! I’ll even convince a priest to give you a consecrated host if needed! Just please, this time, when you kill him, make it permanent!


-I don’t think a host is required. Besides the dangers of desecrating the Eucharist, I also think Holy Water will be enough. And for Holy Water, I can get it on my own through a church. Now tell me, where is that house?


-Baker Street 33.


Comrade Monke wasted no time: He left and supplied himself with some Holy Water from a local Catholic church.


Monke drove all the way to the house.


When he parked and got out, he felt weird. He however, did the Sign of the Cross and felt better. He grabbed his Nagant M1895 revolver and went inside.


When he entered, he immediately felt weird again. He felt someone walking behind him. He took his small bottle of Holy Water, and threw some behind him. He then heard her and after turning around saw her scream: A weird, monstrous woman. However, he saw more coming from upstairs. He needed to save some Holy Water for Dracula, so he closed and hid the small bottle and started running away from them.


However, he suddenly felt a pain in the head, obviously from something hitting him, and passed out.


When he woke up, he was tied to a pole in a room with red lighting and a weird altar with satanic symbols on it.


Then, smoke filled the room and he saw Dracula appear slowly behind the altar.


-Count Dracula. Or Tray D. Mark…


-Comrade Monke! So glad that you could make it…


Suddenly, Miss Anastasia appeared on the altar, lying on top of it.


-She will be sacrificed… and there’s nothing you can do about it.


Using his super strength, Monke broke free of the chains tying him to the pole and jumped on Dracula. Monke tried to grab his bottle but Dracula kicked him and sent him on top of the altar, throwing Anastasia off of it.


-Anastasia run! Shouted Monke. She started running and got out of the house.


Monke tried to grab his bottle again but Dracula grabbed it and threw it out of the window.


-Now, what will you do?


Monke started saying the “Our Father” prayer in Latin, which repulsed Dracula a bit.


Monke got up, and jumped out of the window. He grabbed the bottle of Holy Water and started running. Dracula followed him.


Monke made his way to a local park. Dracula was right behind him. Monke saw a large fountain. He jumped inside, took a large breath and completely submerged himself. Dracula jumped into the fountain as well, but started suddenly burning.


He then took a look at Monke’s hands: Monke had opened the bottle and released the Holy Water inside the Fountain’s water!


Dracula screamed and completely dissolved, right in front of Monke’s eyes!


Monke got out of the Fountain, and, after refilling his bottle, went back to the house with the vampire brides.


He went to the basement, and emptied the bottle inside the building’s water system. He then shot a large water pipe, causing the building to eventually be completely flooded in water, which also had Holy Water in it!


This caused all the vampire brides to burn and dissolve, putting an end to the vampirical plague.


Monke was not only congratulated and given a medal by the Soviet Union’s Secret Service, but also by MI6!


Monke returned to the USSR. He went inside his dacha, kissed his budge parrot, Pepi, goodnight, and sat on his bed, awaiting his next mission.


The end of Count Dracula and his vampire brides, but Comrade Monke will return!

Tray D. Mark and Agent Croco characters by Saintrider