Comrade Monke Returns

Agent Croco took his gun and broke down the door. He started shooting and killed almost everyone in the room. Almost… He left one soldier alive. Croco approached him. The soldier was hit in the leg twice by Croco’s bullets. The anthropomorphic crocodile aimed his gun at his head.


-Talk, or your brains will be spilled all over the room floor!


-Please… I have a wife and three kids!


-TALK!


The soldier raised his eyesight towards Croco.


-He’s… I can’t say it.


Croco then fired and blew the soldier’s brains out.


-One less Soviet scumbag!


He hid the gun in his coat, and went upstairs where the lab with the Soviet scientists was in. He killed the scientists and lab workers mercilessly. He then made his way to a desk and started searching it. On it, he had finally found what he was looking for: The red file.


He returned to England and to the MI6 headquarters.


When the chief saw him, he was happy.


-So, you made it out alive huh?


-YES!


-Do you have the recorded testimony of Monke’s whereabouts?


Croco stayed silent, and smiled.


He then spoke a single word:


-Better…


-What in the Queen’s throne could be better than Monke’s whereabouts?


-His entire story and details.


Croco took the red file out of his coat. He threw it on the desk and it opened. He then took out a cigar and lit it with his lighter. He started smoking it.


Meanwhile, the chief took the file in his hands, and started reading it. It read as follows:


“NAME: COMRADE MONKE


DESCRIPTION: A PRIMATE SUPER-SOLDIER WHO CAN TALK AND HANDLE GUNS, MONKE WAS CREATED ON SEPTEMBER 19 IN A YEAR IN THE 1920s. HE CAN TRAVEL THROUGH TIME, AND ELIMINATE HIS ADVERSARIES IN SECONDS. TWO YEARS AGO HE KILLED THE SPY SMASHER, ALAN ARMSTRONG, AS REVENGE FOR HIS VENDETTA AGAINST SOVIET SPIES.


RELIGION: ROMAN CATHOLIC


AFFILIATIONS: SMERSH


WANTED FOR: MURDER, SMUGGLING, ESPIONAGE, IDENTITY THEFT, AND MUCH MORE”


The chief turned his eyes on Agent Croco, who was now smoking his second cigar.


-Croco, I don’t know what to say…


-So what’s our next move, chief?


-We track down that son of a bitch, and once he’s dead, we can move on to the next phase of our plan…


-Or, better yet, we wait until he comes to us. This will surely pull him out of where he’s living!


Croco then laughed along with the chief.


Meanwhile, in the Soviet Union, Comrade Monke was sleeping in his dacha when a phone call woke him up. He got out of bed, and answered the phone.


-Yes?


-Comrade Monke, we got big problems. Come down here right away!


Monke hung up the phone. “That can’t be good!” he thought. He changed the water of his pet budgie parrot quickly, got dressed, took his Nagant M1895 revolver and hid in his suit, and left.

He got into his car and started driving.


When he arrived outside the office of the chief of the Soviet Secret Service, he parked his car and climbed the stairs. He was welcomed by Miss Anastasia and was offered some vodka, which he gladly accepted.


When the chief entered the room, he sat down and told Monke to stop drinking vodka.


Monke quickly put the glass on the desk.


-Ok Comrade, listen, things are serious. Somebody broke into one of our military bases a few nights ago. They stole the file that contains all of your information.


-And you want me to go find who did it?


-Exactly.


-Say no more, I am on it!


Monke quickly exited the office after telling Miss Anastasia to take care of his parrot while he was away. He made his way to the base that had been raided by Agent Croco. When he entered, he went straight to the security cameras.


When he tried reversing the tapes, it turned out that Croco had somehow destroyed the parts of the tape that had recorded his massacre. However, Monke picked up one of the tapes, and using his watch-like time travel device he wore on his wrist, he restored the tape to an earlier state. Now, he played the tape again.


He then saw on the screen Agent Croco entering the room, and massacring all of Monke’s comrades…


This infuriated Monke because he and Agent Croco were, once, friends. Agent Croco was initially a SMERSH operative and good friends with Monke, until Croco one day escaped to England and became an MI6 agent, betraying his motherland. However, Monke never imagined that Croco would do something like this, even if Croco was a traitor to the Soviet ideal.


Monke wasted no time, he made his way to the airport and traveled to England to find and kill Croco.


When he had arrived in England, Monke went straight to the MI6 headquarters, for which he knew the location through Soviet intel.


When he arrived outside, things were strangely quiet… No guards. Monke took his revolver and climbed the fences. A few minutes later, he still hadn’t seen anyone. Almost like… they were expecting him.


Suddenly, Monke felt something hit him in the head and he was knocked out unconscious.


When he woke up, he was tied to a pole that was inside a mysterious dark room. Monke couldn’t see anything. Suddenly however, the lights were opened, and he saw Croco and the chief of the MI6 entering the room.


-Comrade Monke…


-Agent Croco…


-We have been expecting you…


-I understood that when I saw no one guarding the place.


-Yet you still chose to continue searching…


-I wanted to find you, you murderous bastard!


-Now that we have you, we can finally move on to the next phase of our plan, after we kill you of course!


-What? Are you gonna unleash Dracula’s plague on the USSR?


Croco and the chief looked at each other, then they both looked at Monke. Croco then punched Monke.


-How did you know?


-How did I know what?


-About our plan to rid the world of the Soviet scum once and for all?


-Wait, are you serious?


-You see, my former comrade, Dracula did not die at his castle, like Mina Harker’s account claims. Rather, when Val Helsing was about to kill him, Dracula managed to kill Van Helsing instead. He then forced Mina and the others to write a fake account of how Dracula was supposedly killed. Dracula went on to infiltrate the government of England, and he’s still there.


-Dracula’s the Queen?


-No. He’s the billionaire Tray D. Mark.


-Tray D. Mark?

-What did you think the D. stood for? Anyways, we are going to unleash the vampirical plague on Soviet society. After the world is forced to kill them, the world will be a much better place.


-And you really think I am going to stand here and watch, as you commit genocide against my people? The people who I promised to protect?


-No don’t worry, you won’t be here to watch. You’ll be dead!


Monke then, using his super strength, broke the chains that were tying him to the pole, and jumped towards the table his revolver was on. He picked it up and shot the chief dead. Croco ran to the next room.


Monke followed him and when he entered the other room, he saw him… Dracula.


Dracula turned his eyesight towards Monke, and Monke was scared. Dracula’s eyes were completely red.


-Comrade Monke…


Monke then unbuttoned the buttons of his shirt quickly and showed Dracula his golden crucifix necklace so that Dracula couldn’t attack him, while saying a prayer and aiming his gun at Agent Croco. However, an MI6 agent sneaked up behind Monke and grabbed his golden crucifix necklace, smashing the chain and taking it and throwing it on the floor.


Monke shot him and Croco and Dracula both attacked Monke. Monke shot Croco in the leg, injuring him. Dracula however jumped on Monke, and tried to bite him, but Monke resisted. Meanwhile Croco made his way to another room and hid.


Monke started saying a prayer in Latin, which weakened Dracula. Dracula was so repulsed that he let go of Monke. Monke jumped, grabbed his golden crucifix, and showed it to Dracula again. He continued the Latin prayer, and slowly approached Dracula. He jumped on him, and stabbed the evil Count in his heart with the crucifix multiple times, eventually killing him. Monke took the crucifix and the brken chain and hid it in his clothes. He grabbed his gun from the floor.


He went to the other room, and found Croco bleeding. Instead of finishing him, he sat down and talked to him.


-Why Croco? Why did you betray our motherland?


-I couldn’t resist. The money… the influence. Forgive me, comrade…


Croco then bled to death.


Monke wasted no time, he grabbed his gun and went to a control panel. It was this that they had planned to use to unleash the vampirical plague through a bomb. Monke pressed the self-destruct button, and escaped the base, which blew up right as he was driving away.


Monke arrived back to the USSR, where he was awarded a medal for his efforts and success. He went back to his dacha, lit a cigar, and sat in his bed, awaiting his next mission.


The end of Dracula and Agent Croco, but Comrade Monke will return!