PD Fun Fiction

He arrived and waited outside. When it was his turn, he went inside, and found them all gathered. They all looked unique and different from each other, but one stood out: A medium-height man with a scar on his face, who looked fresh out of jail. -Sit down Tommy. -Ok boss. After a few seconds and a few drinks, the man that stood out got up, and so did everyone else. He then approached Tommy carrying a needle and a card of the Virgin Mary. He gave the card to Tommy and told him: -What you are about to do Tommy, is irreversible. Do you understand? -I understand. -The family you are joining will now mean more to you than your own family, your country, or God. If I ask you to kill your brother, you must do it. Show me, which hand would pull the trigger? Tommy lifted his right hand slightly and extended his finger. The boss used the needle to pierce Tommy’s finger slightly, and the blood dropped on the card which had been placed on the table. The boss picked it up and set it on fire with a l...

The plane landed at the airport. When everybody had gotten off the plane, one man stood out. He was a blonde, blue-eyed, and fat and short man, about the age of 46-47, but he looked much older. He took a cab and went straight to a dacha, just outside of Moscow. While they were driving, he kept looking out of the window, to make sure nobody was following them. When they arrived, he paid the taxi driver, and he got out of the cab. He walked right up to the door of the dacha and knocked on the door. The door opened, revealing a primate, dressed in a red luxurious robe. -Comrade Monke? -Yeah that’s me. -Can I enter? -Sure. He entered inside and they both sat on Monke’s large couch. Monke served some vodka for them both and sat down. -Hello! Shouted Monke’s budgie parrot, named Pepi or Pepita. After they had sat down, Monke grabbed the glass of vodka and started drinking it. -So, what brings you here, Vincent? -Look Monke, I need your help. -What could the American Police possibly want fro...

She woke up tied to a bed. She couldn’t recognize the room. The last thing she remembered was a pain in the head. However, she assumed she had been kidnapped. The chains were hurting her legs and hands. Suddenly, he saw smoke coming from underneath the door. Then, the door was kicked open and she saw him: A large man, with grey hair all over his hands and face, and with an old-fashioned robe that was dark and red. She saw him approach her and she found him disgusting, but she also saw something charming in him. Now, their eyes “locked” together, and they kept looking at each other. She was scared but also strangely relieved. That is, until he grabbed her by the neck and opened his mouth. His teeth were horrible, and two of them suddenly started extending. There was no doubt, this was a vampire! He bit her deep in the neck, and she soon passed out after screaming so loud that people miles away could hear her. After a few hours, she had turned herself. However, the mysterious vampire an...

Agent Croco took his gun and broke down the door. He started shooting and killed almost everyone in the room. Almost… He left one soldier alive. Croco approached him. The soldier was hit in the leg twice by Croco’s bullets. The anthropomorphic crocodile aimed his gun at his head. -Talk, or your brains will be spilled all over the room floor! -Please… I have a wife and three kids! -TALK! The soldier raised his eyesight towards Croco. -He’s… I can’t say it. Croco then fired and blew the soldier’s brains out. -One less Soviet scumbag! He hid the gun in his coat, and went upstairs where the lab with the Soviet scientists was in. He killed the scientists and lab workers mercilessly. He then made his way to a desk and started searching it. On it, he had finally found what he was looking for: The red file. He returned to England and to the MI6 headquarters. When the chief saw him, he was happy. -So, you made it out alive huh? -YES! -Do you have the recorded testimony of Monke’s whereabouts? ...

He entered through the roof, trying to be as stealthy as possible. He knocked out a few guards, while killing some others. He had to find it. He knew it was there, he knew it was gonna be difficult finding it, but he had to at least try. After killing a few more guards, he saw a room with a large door. He tried to open it but it was locked. He then felt a presence behind him. He turned around and saw him: A short, but fat primate. He just couldn't believe what he was seeing. The shock was so strong he passed out. When he woke up, his legs and arms were tied up and he was all alone in a dark room. That is, until a large gate opened, and he saw the same primate enter. This time, while still shocked, he did not pass out. The primate approached him. The primate wore a Mao tunic, a soviet Ushanka hat, as well as a golden Constantinato coin, as a necklace. He walked right up to him. -Hello, friend! He was speechless, for the primate could also talk! This must have been a joke right? Sur...

25 August 1758 I have been pressured by my wife and children to write a memoir of my adventure from years ago. I must now therefore travel to a simpler time, when I was a captain of a small transport ship. I remember us sailing through a terrible storm. We must have lost about 3 men while going through that disaster! We were trying to escape, and there was no escape: Our ship was launched towards an island, and was crushed into a rock. Nobody except me survived. I passed out. When I woke up, I was tied to a tree. I was sure I would die of starvation, but then I saw them appearing one by one behind a large rock: Four men, all dressed with terrible, ripped clothes. Could they be…? But no. I thought there was no way they were… I can’t even say the word. However when they approached me and started talking, I was certain: These men… they were… PIRATES! They approached me and untied me. They then escorted me, at the point of the sword, to their leader. I shall never call him captain, for t...

NAME: Comrade Monke EYE COLOR: Orange SPECIES: Primate TYPE: Unknown (possibly black crested macaque) WANTED FOR: Armed robbery, protection racketeering, espionage, terrorism, murder, weapon smuggling, gold smuggling, leading a criminal organization, identity fraud, impersonation DESCRIPTION: Not much is known about the very early life of the mysterious yet prominent Rasputin-like Christian mystic figure and Marxist-Leninist archterrorist Comrade Monke. He was probably born during the Russian revolution, making him about 108 or 109 years old. According to various witnesses and testimonies, he committed his first crime at about 16 years old. It was espionage. He had apparently given Western military secrets to the Soviet Union, after buying them from the Mafia. He also worked for the Mafia, did jail time and possibly even became a Made Man. After that, he travelled around the world. However, it was during his time in the Vatican that he converted to Catholicism. After traveling to Lati...

Writer's note: Originally, while writing this, there was no intent to frame the short story as a fictional historian's essay. But as I kept writing, I increasingly realized this wouldn't work otherwise. Then the idea of making it a fictional essay from a fictional historian came up in my mind, and I just had to do it. So anyways, enjoy! This is the short essay of a historian who wishes to remain anonymous, regarding Comrade Monke’s rise to power: In about 1946, lived the Russian Comrade Monke, destined to become the world’s most powerful and most intelligent primate. He was always dressed in a red coat with white pants. He also wore an Ushanka with the Soviet hammer and sickle on it. He had a large scar on his face, which resulted in the nickname "SCARMONKEY." Also, he owned a pet budgerigar, named Pepi or Pepita. Born on September 19 of an unknown year, and after fighting for the bolsheviks during the Russian Civil War and for the Soviets during World War 2, or t...

Once upon a time, there was a country which spanned Europe and Asia. Its name was the Soviet Union. And in it lived a great protector of it, someone who instilled happiness and a sense of safety in the hearts of its citizens and fear and dread in the enemies of it. A primate. His name was Comrade Monke. Now, the Soviet Union had a leader, the general secretary. He owned an aviary inside his residence, the Kremlin, and he took great care of it. It was full of many different birds, but one stood out: The golden canary. It was the most fascinating bird anyone could see in their lifetimes. No one knew its origin exactly, but many legends had been told about it, including a popular one that it had sailed with pirates and was over 1800 years old, that it was once a human cursed by a witch, and many more. One night, unknown to the general secretary, the canary was stolen. When the leader found out about it, he became depressed, and sadness filled his heart. So he wasted no time, and quickly s...

She walked inside the restaurant and made her way over to the kitchen. She placed her hand on the white wall, pushed against it, and a piece was pushed inside like a button. The wall split in half and opened, revealing a large staircase downwards. She entered and the wall behind her closed. She walked downstairs and made a turn left. She moved in a straight line and then turned right until she reached a large dark room. She saw a mysterious figure sitting there. She sat down. -What may I do for you, lady? Said the figure. -Patriarch, I need your help. The “patriarch” turned on the light on his desk. What this light revealed shocked her and made her feel disturbed and scared: A primate sitting there. He was dressed in a red suit and was smoking. On his desk, a stand for parrots with a budgie parrot on it. A beautiful white-and-blue female named Pepi or Pepita. The desk also had other things on it: A Bible, a crucifix, statues of the Virgin Mary and Jesus, as well as a picture of Camilo ...

He woke up at around 7:00 AM. Not even his budgie parrot, a beautiful white and blue female named Pepi or Pepita, had woken up yet. Comrade Monke got out of bed and went to the bathroom. After that, he went back to his room, prayed a “Hail Mary,” and got dressed. He went outside. The grocery store was just a couple of blocks away. After 15 minutes of walking, he finally saw it. He walked towards it, got inside and bought some strawberries -his favorite- and then went outside again. As he started walking home, he noticed someone following him. He knew something was up, he started running and turned left towards an alley. The mysterious man followed him and as Monke was running, the man pulled out a gun. He fired at Monke four times, and two of the bullets hit Monke. He fell on the ground and so did the fruit he had bought. Monke was bleeding out. The assassin disappeared. The nearby residents who heard the gunshots went to check what’s going on. Monke was taken to a hospital. Miss Anast...

Comrade Monke entered the hospital. He looked around. Only a few people were there. Monke saw a doctor coming out of the room, and he asked him how his friend was. The response he got was not what he had hoped for. Monke tried to enter but was stopped by the doctor and nurse. -You can’t enter, sir. Monke got upset. -Do you have any idea who I am, boy? -No sir. But you can’t enter. Monke then reached for his pocket and grabbed his gun. He aimed it at the doctor: -Let me see my friend, or you’re gonna need to be admitted to this hospital just like him. The doctor was scared now. -Ok, but, only for a few minutes. -Now, was that so hard? Monke hid the gun again and went inside. What he saw made tears rain down his clothes. His friend was in an almost vegetative state. He could speak and see, but he was completely unable to move. And he could not remember much at all. However, when he saw Monke, he immediately remembered him. -Comrade Monke… Monke walked right up to him. -Ilya, my friend. ...

Comrade Monke entered the room. It was full of mannequins and women. They were all so beautiful! Monke made his way down the stairs and found Maria. She was the only other survivor of Ilya Ivanov’s experiment to create a monkey soviet superwarrior. Monke approached her from behind. -Guess who?! Maria turned around and she saw him, dressed in a nice Hawaiian shirt and jeans. -Comrade! They hugged and then walked towards the mirror. -Look at you, so beautiful! Said Monke. Then they entered the building: A bunch of men dressed in black suits and black sunglasses. They were armed with shotguns and uzis. The men walked downstairs and found them. She screamed in fear. -Who are you? Asked Monke. -Them that you’re gonna have to pay, if you don’t want your girlfriend’s face to look like she got into a fight with the local butcher! Monke was about to reach for his gun, a Nagant M1895 revolver, when one of them fired a shot towards the ceiling. Maria then started crying. -Where’s our money lady?...